Clown Show

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Vern's Stories fredhorn37@gmail.com

Fred & Wilma, 2nd Day

 

4. 2nd Day

Well, I had a typical night, sleep 2 or 3 hours then dream until I wake up to go pee. Did my usual thing, start heading to the bathroom, then remember and go outside. My wife is still using the toilet for now, with the old saying "If it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down." I got a couple buckets of water for the night and left in there for her.

 Once I wake up I guess the first thing I do is dig out the lid of the septic tank, and try to figure out some method of going. In all of my prepping, this is something I never thought about. But one of the things I got to do is make some coffee! Ah hell, if worst comes to worst, no more coffee? Ah, Crap. So I go to my Mr. Coffee pot and think about whether my solar will work with it or not.

 I remember trying it recently. It works, but it really pulls the batteries down for a few minutes, but then it goes back to idle. So the batteries come back up. Might have to rethink my strategy on that. I never did get a replacement pot for my stove top percolator that got a hole in it. Now I wish I had. Might have to start making some cowboy coffee on the campstove.

 With some coffee in me, I'm ready to start the day. First thing, go out front and look around, see if anyone is out and about. I hear some voices, but can't find where they're coming from. Then I hear a mower. Somebody's acting normal. That's good I think. Sipping my coffee, I wander around the front yard for a bit, not seeing anything out of the ordinary I decide to go back in.

 Head out back, grab a shovel, and head to the septic tank. Takes about 45 minutes and I've got it dug out, and get the lid out of the septic tank. I'm slow, what can I say. While I'm digging I look at the orchard. Also need water. Crap, how are we supposed to water enough to grow veggies? And the fruit and nut trees need water too. Well poop.

 So I'm looking at the hole in the ground, and trying to come up with a plan. I grab a couple of buckets and cut the bottom out. Stick one in the hole, and it catches the sides and stays there. Stick the other one inside the first one and have a makeshift chute for the poop and pee. I had two pieces of plywood I had recently purchased, and using a skilsaw with the solar inverter I managed to make a bench of appropriate height, with a hole in it. Heh, I made a one-holer. Then I put another couple of buckets into the first ones to get more height, so maybe I wouldn't miss the hole that way.

 I took the seat off the rear bathroom toilet and attached it to the one-holer. Not pretty, but effective. I thought about it a bit, then I got some duct tape, and taped the edges of the bench. Maybe that will prevent splinters in the wrong place.  Then I took four of the 4x4's I have for fence work and dug holes and put them in, and wrapped a tarp around those. That was about as private as I could make it for now. When the rain came, if it did, I would have to put some type of top on it.

 With that done, I went back in and poured another cup of coffee. My wife was puttering around in the kitchen.

So I asked her about lighting one of the grills and cooking some bacon or something. She said okay. Then I wondered about making biscuits and trying to bake them inside one of the grills with the lid closed. We have never done that. She said not right now, not a good time to learn just yet.

 So just bacon and coffee for now. Which tastes pretty good. After breakfast we discuss what to do for the rest of the day. I went and dug out one of the small radios I had stocked in for shtf.  The radio worked but there was nothing coming over am or fm still.

 My wife suggested I go out and around a few people in the neighborhood and see what they were up to. I thought that might be a good idea. She said she would wash the few dishes we had. I told her it might be better to wait on that until we had more idea about our water supply.

 My first stop was across the street to the south. The couple there are a few years older than my wife and I. I asked how they were making out, and for them it is so far so good. I suggested if they had cash they might go to the high dollar store and get what they could before the authorities seized all the food. Then I went around to a few more of the neighbors and suggested the same to them.

 Went home and got my wife and we did the same. Except when we got there, we found a pretty long line waiting to get into the store. And a sheriff's deputy was standing there and  appeared to be checking id's to get in. I left Wilma in line and walked up to get some info. There was a sign taped to the door saying cash only and that purchases were limited to $100. I talked to the deputy a bit, and asked about how long the wait was to get in. He said it was slow, only a couple of clerks inside. He figured about one hour to get ten people thru. I counted and Wilma and I were about fifty people back.  So I walked back to Wilma and told her. She said she didn't think she could stand in line that long, and I knew I couldn't stand in line that long, so we went back to the car and drove home.  Maybe if we go later, we can take some chairs with us to wait in line.

 I got to thinking about our fuel supply. I have about 30 gallons stocked up, stored with fuel stabilizer. But even so it isn't going to last forever.

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