Certified Water Technologist #63

Certified Water Technologist #63
Vern's Stories fredhorn37@gmail.com

This unfolds into an absolute masterpiece of a crap show


Fence Work

 Nancy Pelosi saw that the fence she had put up had become damaged. So she called in two fence contractors, one democrat and one republican. 

The republican fence contractor checks out the damage and says, $1000 for the repair.

The democrat contractor whispers in Pelosi's  ear:$5000. $2000 for you, $2000 for me, we hire him to fix the fence.

Done she says.


 For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much partying, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million.

104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.

And you're sitting there reading jokes

Golfers Dilemma


She Should Just Change Parties to Democrat Already

 House Republicans vote to remove Rep. Liz Cheney from leadership post

Colonial Pipeline Restart


Colonial Pipeline has announced that it began the restart of pipeline operations around 5 p.m. Wednesday.

Printer Ink

 For the last week I have been working on my federal and state income taxes(hack spit fart cough).

I got the federal done and printed out and mailed off to the bastards.

But my state taxes I had to put on hold because of printer ink.

My magenta ink cartridge ran completely the hell out and the printer said no more printing until you replace that cartridge. I said I will trick you by replacing with a different color until I can get a new cartridge.  AAAAANNNNNKKK! No dice there, the cartridges are designed to not let you do that. So, previously on the printer ink being low I had gone to office depot to get said cartridge. But. HP, which is my brand of printer, in their infinite wisdom and to get you to buy another printer, has apparently quit manufacturing the 02 style of ink cartridges which is what my printer takes. Crap. 

No joy anywhere locally to find one either.

So my daughter goes to target? I think it was online, and found some that are not HP ink. She orders those for me, they got here today. They are not the same physical shape, but they fit, and i was finally able to print out my tax forms for the bastards at the state.

Pisses me off the aholes at HP don't  make those cartridges anymore. The printer is a great printer and has lots of life left in it, more than I do I think.

But for now the brand I purchased will work. Until they quit making those.

Oh well. Such is the way of life in the time of biden and the hoe.

Auto Work Today

My grandson recently bought a used 1998 expedition to replace the durango that the insurance company kept after his fender bender.

When we read the ad, it said it had some minor things to do to it.

We knew the ac was leaking and the heater core was bypassed and a few other things, but he bought it because it was better than most for the price.

Today he came up to replace inner and outer tierod ends. Simple job right?

Jacked up the passenger side, wheel off, got the inner and outer tierod assembly off. Took about 15 minutes total. I was pleased. 

Then my grandson made the fatal mistake, and I wasn't quick enough to stop him.

He said, "That went a lot easier than I thought it would!" And i screamed and gnashed my teeth and cried tears of frustration and said what did you do?

He looked at me like I was crazy, which my wife does several times per day. I think she has a quota or something.

I said you have jinxed us because you said it went better than you thought.  Now everything will go bad! He looked at me like I was crazy.

Well, look who was proven correct! We were only going to replace the tierod ends and reuse the connecting sleeve between the two. Well, guess what? The new parts don't thread into the old sleeve. And new hardware, such as new locknuts and cotter  pins were not provided in the boxes. 

So, back to O'Reillys he goes. Come to find out, the installation instructions that came in the new parts boxes he got, which were not in the ones that we had, state that the new tierod ends cannot be used with the oem connecting sleeve. Huh?? WTF?? So he got new connecting sleeves as well. Or maybe they are called adjusting sleeves?

So, we put the new assembly on, measured out to the same dimension as the old one, and the tire is pointed to the right about 4 inches. So we fought that for an hour to get it straight. Then to the other side to replace that. The nut for the inner rod end was seized and took us about 30 minutes to remove.

Anyway finally got it all done. But I warned him, Don't ever say anything about how good it's going again! It's Dangerous!

Hey! All You Goddamn Democrats! What the hell is this shit?

 BREAKING…Kamala’s Cruel New America: TX Farmer Finds 5 Young Girls Alone and Crying On His Ranch…One Was Naked [VIDEO]

You're Allowing Superviruses to be Created with a 15% mortality

Gas stations along the U.S. East Coast are beginning to run out of fuel

The gas pipeline is still having issues and a few stations on the east coast are running out of gas.

Shortbus joe says the hackers are from russia. 

"The dwindling supplies come just as the nation’s energy industry was preparing to meet stronger fuel demand from summer travel. Americans are once again commuting to the office and booking flights after a year of restrictions. Depending on the duration of the disruption, retail prices could spike, further stoking fears of inflation as commodity prices rally worldwide."


Ron DeSantis Signs Bill Banning Local Governments From Implementing Their Own Gun Control Laws

 My  personal opinion about gun laws is that absolutely no one has the authority to make a gun control law. And I mean no one.

If we the people want guns regulated, then the only way to do that is make an amendment to the constitution.

Otherwise everyone is free to keep and bear arms.

But we the people continue to let politicians run amuck with these laws. 

Gov. DeSantis in Florida is fighting back.

Ron DeSantis Signs Bill Banning Local Governments From Implementing Their Own Gun Control Laws

What is Happening in France: Is War Against Islam Brewing?

 'Civil war is brewing in France and you know it': French military launches another salvo at Macron with new open letter

Some Old Jokes, But Still Funny

 Sidney walks up to the head lumberjack and says he was there to apply for the job of tree cutter. Sidney is only about 5'4" tall, the lumberjack is 6'4" tall. 

The lumberjack says, you are kinda small, where have you worked before? Sidney says,"The Sahara Forest"

The lumberjack says, "You mean the Sahara Desert?"

Sidney says, "That's what they call it now!"

Sidney gets the job, the next day the head boss gives Sidney a chainsaw and they go out to the woods. Boss tells Sidney cut down all these trees with red paint markers, about 50 of them, and goes back to the camp.

Sidney gets back to camp that night pretty tired and immediately starts sharpening the chain on the saw. The boss comes up and asks, "How many you cut down?"

Sidney says "One."

The boss is flabbergasted. We cut down at least 10 a day he says, you gotta do better.

Next day Sidney is plumb wore out. Boss says how many today? Sidney says 2.

Boss says what the heck? Is there something wrong with your saw?

He takes the saw, pulls the cord and it starts on the first try. Brrrrap, Brrrap the saw goes.

Sidney goes Whats that noise?


 I borrowed this from ExTexanWannabe



Michigan man builds poop wall next to neighbor's home

Gas Pipeline Ransomware

 The colonial gas pipeline shutdown has been going a few days now. Apparently some robinhood type group has placed ransomware on their computers and is demanding payment to release them.

If i was the head of colonial, i would hire an equally talented group of mercenaries to hunt down and liquidate this group that calls itself dark side i believe. Think about that. If in the news you see that several computer hacker types have been severely tortured and mutilated because they were suspected of hacking the colonial pipeline, what do you think future hackers might think?

Now lookit, this pipeline supposedly provides 45% of gasoline and diesel from Texas to New England. Why in the hell would you put any control of it on computers with access to internet? Or whatever net they use. Old technology, to me, is better than new technology.

Relays and switches that have to be human operated, may have some human error but that is better than being lockedout. If the hackers have to physically travel to a site to do any hacking, that might deter such hacking, in my opinion.

Any who, here is a link to an article:

Cyber Attack on Colonial Pipeline Leads to Emergency Declaration in 17 States


 What does an alligator get on welfare?


What do you like to meet at a bulb orgy?

A 3-way bulb

Whats it called when jerry nadler drops his pants?

A full moon.

What do crabs get high on?

Crab grass.


The Income Tax is Too Damn High!

 You have heard the saying The Rent is Too Damn High!

Well I say The Income Tax is Too Damn High!

You know why income tax is too damn high? I will tell you. It is because nobody prepares their own tax forms anymore.

In the past people would prepare their own taxes and they would have all the information they needed and could see their income and their outgo and they could gripe about it or call their congressman or whatever they needed to do. Fill out a page here, fill out a page there, go back and erase this page and redo that page, then bundle it all up and put in an envelope and mail it.

Then along comes H&R Block, Jackson Hewitt, and how convenient you can go down and pay someone else to do it for you. Then all you have to do is sign the damn check and you don't grumble anymore and call your congressman.

And Now. You can get on your smart phone now and do your taxes in just a couple of minutes for some people, half hour or so for others.

Give em a credit card if you need to and voila! you are done!

Lotsa places are free gratis to post your taxes, so it might all be free for you.

I think, though, if  everyone had to prepare their own taxes and deal with all the trials and tribulations of that, more people would be calling up their congresscritters, and yelling "The Tax is Too Damn High!

People Need to Learn How to Write English

 People need to learn the english language. Have you noticed how nothing seems to be written correctly anymore?

Case in  point. I was looking on amazon just now for a hvac blower motor for my 2003 dodge dakota pickup. Locally, the price is around a hundred bucks. On amazon it's about 40 bucks. Big difference.

Anyway, i was reading the description of the product, and here is one of  the things they said: 

All we wanna do is to make you satisfy this product and the service we provide for you.

Now I ask you, do i look like i need to satisfy a blower motor?

Chinese Rocket Debris Expected To Hit This Weekend – But No One Is Sure ...---And China has 10 more launches planned

These Fuckers Just Don't Get It

This Can't Be Good

 5500 Miles of Pipeline Shutdown from Texas to New York

I found the link above at Weasel Zippers

Shortbus joe had no supporters to greet Him

 But, but ,but he got 81 million votes!

Well, If This Ain't the Shit

 Update: This just goes to show how inefficient our government is. This letter i got today that i talk about the $2800 they sending me, they already did that on March 23, and I had forgotten about it. But they sending me a letter about it dated April 29? This is just like a damn democrat. A day late and more money out of my pocket.

I just spent a large portion of the afternoon yelling, screaming and going ballistic. I worked on my 2020 federal income taxes.

Everything about it is on the goddamn computer now. I want a booklet mailed to me with instructions and forms, like they used to do. But not anymore boy. They could save money by not requiring security on their people. Because this crap is on the computer, and the pdf doesn't always work right, as in my case with the damn instruction booklet today, i am ready to go shoot some damn .gov employees! Fuck this bullshit!

So i am mostly done, just gotta review it, check the math, all of course after my blood quits boiling. I'm tellin ya, i got more than just a little bit pissed. At one  point i thought i had to pay almost $10,000 more in effin taxes and i launched a rocket out the roof i'm tellin ya! I don't know what i did wrong because i couldn't see much past the red in my eyes, but it looks like i gotta pay $953 to the damn gov't.

So, after all that i go check the mailbox, and in todays mail i only get one envelope, and it says  Department of the Treasury, Internal Revenue Service, Austin Texas.

Holy fuckin, what the hell is this?

A letter from shortbus joe biden, it says My Fellow American.

I thought Aw Crap! He finally went demented!

Anyway, the letter says he is pleased to inform me that because of the american rescue plan, a directpayment of $2,800.00 WAS ISSUED to my wife and i by direct deposit. Then blahblahblah.Check the website to see where your payment is at. Not in my bank that's for sure. Go to their website and it wants me to create an account, uh uh not gonna happen. Then it says ELIGIBLE people will get the check and i thought I'm Eligible? Huh.

But its only gonna be issued after they review my 2020 taxforms, which i haven't mailed in yet, cause i'm only doin them today!

And by the way, didn't those sunzabitches get all panty twisted butt hurt when Pres. Trump was gonna put HIS signature on one of these?


 I found these over at The View From Lady Lake. Ole Joe over there knows what he's talkin about. Go visit him.

"The several states composing the United States of America are not united on the principle of unlimited submission to their general government"

- Thomas Jefferson      

"Whensoever the General Government assumes undelegated powers, its acts are unauthoritative, void, and of no force."

- Thomas Jefferson  

Thursday Fun


Eviction Moratorium Overturned

  Federal Judge Overturns CDC’s COVID-19 Eviction Moratorium as an Unconstitutional Power Grab

Hot Today

 At the moment the temperature is 93°F. Gonna be 96°F at 5pm today.

I knew the heat was coming and now it is here.

Turned on the house ac earlier, about 2 pm. Set it on 75 or so. I don't care what people say about the cost, i want to be comfortable, and cool is comfortable. If i gotta worry about the cost to run the damn thing, i will simply remove it and sweat.

Here in my office, i have a portable room air conditioner, and i have it set on 62°F. I turned it off a few minutes ago, cause i was cold.

I have been thinking of buying a unit called a mini split airconditioner and putting in my living room. 

That area of the house has never cooled down properly. A mini split has the evaporator unit inside, and the condensing unit outside. Kind of like a cars ac unit is setup. I have been looking at the ones that use an inverter technology. Not sure how but they are supposedly less expensive to operate.

Speaking of that, i have always  been under the impression that operating an ac unit at 220 volts is cheaper than operating one at 110 volts. While looking at the amp draw specs on this one, i have changed my mind about that. They had specs listed for both 110 and 220 volts. Turns out the 220 volt unit uses about the same amount of power or slightly more than the 120 does.  Gotta do more research, but if that stays true i will get the 110 volt one. Because i am planning on using solar panels and batteries to run the thing. If it works out okay i will let you know. Gotta get the dough to buy the stuff first though.

Liz Cheney

 BREAKING: Trump Endorses Liz Cheney’s Replacement — Now a Top-Ranking Republican Agrees

As If We Don't Have Enough to Occupy Our Attention

 "Holger Krag, head of the Space Safety Programme Office for the European Space Agency, says from their experience, there is an average amount of mass of about 100 tons re-entering in an uncontrolled way per year. “This relates to about 50-60 individual events per year.” "

For the luv o pete, about 21 metric tons of chinese space junk may come back to earth in the next week or so. AND, it will be an uncontrolled reentry. There is no way to calculate and predict where it may come back to earth.

So let me ask you, you wanna be at work, minding your own business, and next thing you know you are trying to get into the pearly gates because some chinese CRAP crushed you to death?

Huge rocket looks set for uncontrolled reentry following Chinese space station launch

I found the link at The Feral Irishman

Chlorine Shortage

 Apparently the country is having a shortage of chlorine for pool usage. Doesn't affect me, I don't have a pool. 

But it may affect one of my customers who uses a version of chlorine i sell for his cooling towers. Don't know about that yet, trying to find out.

Makes me wonder about chlorine for municipalities to chlorinate the main water systems. I haven't found any articles about that  yet.

But i thought i would post a link to an article i found on it and let you guys read up on it.

Chlorine in Short Supply



Way To Go Lubbock!

 I grew up 60 miles north of Lubbock Texas, and this action by the city does not surprise me one bit. As a matter of fact, i'm kinda surprised this hasn't happened before now. 

Lubbock, Texas Votes to Ban Abortions — Dubs Itself ‘Sanctuary City For the Unborn’

Can You Believe This Shit?

I would like to say i find this hard to believe, but unfortunately I can't say that anymore. When i was a kid we could run play climb trees throw rocks bicycle do whatever the goddam fuckin hell we wanted as long as the parental units didn't forbid us or catch us as we did whatever it was anyway.

But now, in these stupid times, states are having to pass laws to prevent parents from getting charged criminally for letting their kids be kids and do what kids do. 

When the hell did this country become such  a land of freedom haters?

In Oklahoma and Texas, Parents Who Let Their Kids Play Outside Will No Longer Fear Neglect Charges

As a personal anecdote: last summer my wife was home with our younger children in our safe, upper middle class, secluded neighborhood among the pines of the Sierra Nevadas along a dead end street. Our 8-year-old asked if he could go collect rocks (for his collection) down the street – a distance of about 600 yards. My wife was on the phone with her mother catching up and granted him permission. His older brother (age 10) asked to go as well and together, the two walked down the quiet, dead-end, residential street.

An older, well-intentioned neighbor (whom we have not met), noticed them and followed them down the street to the small wash where they were going to collect rocks. After observing them, he soon offered them some lunch – to which they replied “no thanks, we don’t take food from strangers.” Then, after growing uncomfortable with a stranger watching them, they proceeded home."

The fire department arrived

But before they made it back, the fire department arrived having received a call from this same concerned neighbor to check on a report of “unsupervised children.” By then, my wife had finished her phone call and walked outside to check on the boys. Surprised, she noticed two firemen walking up the street with the boys. They kindly explained what happened and apologized but proceeded to report that they had to legally report to the Sheriff Office and that we might be receiving a follow up call or visit from CPS [Child Protective Services].

This is the type of incident this bill is striving to avoid. It is a waste on the often under-funded and over-worked public resources we need to truly protect the children of this state.

Mitt Romney gets Embarrassingly BOOED during Speech---Piss on Romney

Customer States "Just Change My Oil, I Don't Need a Coil Spring!"

The Police Were Called for a Social Distancing Mannequin

 The whole fucking world is crazy. A restaurant had a mannequin sitting at a table. Who know why, who cares why. 

What is important is the fact that someone called the goddamn fckin police on the guy! Because they thought he was allowing dine in!!

Jesus H.Fucking Christ! Your Papers Please writ large?

Police find reported COVID-19 violation was a mannequin

Presidency, 2024

 Who do you think will be the republicrat nominee for the presidency in 2024?

I predict it will not be our glorious number 45, President Trump. The establishment is turning on him faster than milk in 90° sun. Ole lindsey graham is apparently pushing tim scott for prez.  Cocaine mitch and asshole mike pence don't support him.

Local talk radio today had this subject on. I listened for about 5 minutes, then started hunting for unicorn farts to listen to.

They were saying ole mike pence didn't have the balls to run if Pres. Trump does. I think they are wrong. I think ole pence is planning on it.

Then they were floating Ron DeSantis as a running mate for Pres. Trump. I could probably go along with that. 

But. I think Pres. Trump will better serve himself, his family, and his constituents if he does not run, but instead does his rallys like he does and supports Ron DeSantis for prez. 

I personally won't vote for prez unless Trump or DeSantis is the nominee. All the rest are establishment republicans.

Electrical Work

 Went to my daughters place today to do some electrical troubleshooting.  A plug in the kitchen wasn't working, and a whole string of plugs i installed in 1981 or so wasn't working.

Checked the plug in the kitchen and had about 96 volts on it. Should be 110 or so.

Went to remove the thing to check the connections, and the screws holding it in place were about 2 inches long. Damn those things were long. Anyway, finally got them out and got the plug out and the wire had broken at the screw. What really surprised me though, was the wire is not solid, it is stranded wire. I haven't seen that before. So tomorrow i am going back, hopefully to replace the socket with a ground fault interruptor circuit style socket. This is only a 2 wire system, but i think i can still make it work okay.

The string of plugs that was out is a different story. Those only had about 750 millivolts to the outlet. Went out to the breaker, and even though the breaker is correctly on, it only had about 750 millivolts at the breaker. Reset the breaker and now it has 120 volts as it should. 

So i purchased a new breaker for that. Install it tomorrow. And hopefully everything electrical wise will be okay.

Went over how the electrical panel is setup with my son in law. He is a great guy, but his eyes started glazing over as i explained the intricacies of the panel. I know exactly how he feels, i did the very same thing, at this very same electrical panel, when MY father in law was explaining the intricacies of the electric panel to me.

The circle of life has come around.


 I am tired and this is how I feel this morning. Go to bed at 11, get up at 1, back to bed at 5, up at 8. Bleh.

Government Need to Stay Out of Our Lives

 The people who say they know better than us want to ban menthol in cigarettes and cigars.

Why is that? Apparently because it is racist and black people can't figure out for themselves if it's good or bad for them.

You know what? The damn Gubbmint is okay with people shoving another person of the same sex genitalia up their ass, why can't they let people shove a cigarette into their mouth if that's what they want to do?

FDA Wants To Ban Menthol Cigarettes And Flavored Cigars…

This Might Be a True Story


Chicken Gun

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..
The horrified engineers sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.
Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:
Defrost the chicken..


Remember the Ventilator

 Remember when the USofA had a severe shortage of ventilators to keep people from dying?

Go check out this video over at The Feral Irishman

People Everywhere are Tired of This Mask Bullshit

 Vail AZ. parents got pissed off whent the school board voted to extend mask mandate. So a bunch of them pushed their way into the meeting, the school board took off like a scared rabbit, the parents then held their own meeting and elected a whole new school board and rescinded the mandate.

Looks like the election was illegitimate though. Link below.

Arizona School Board Members Flee Meeting as Parents Protest Student Mask Mandate

A Shortage of Cars? I Don't Think So, Tim.

This Article talks about how there is a shortage of new cars due to the slowdown of manufacture caused by The Covid. I'm not sure i believe that. Every new car lot i drive by here locally is chock full to overflowing. Or at least that is how it appears to me.

It also says there is a shortage of used cars.

I call bullshit on that. Recently i was helping my grandson look for a used vehicle. We finally settled on a 1998 ford expedition with high miles for $3500.  And that was a good buy.

Prices of used cars have risen, apparently caused by the Covid hysteria. I frankly couldn't believe the high prices people wanted for used trucks. Holy hell, trucks of 1988 vintage were priced up around 10 grand.

I am of the opinion that we could cease manufacture of all new vehicles, and this country would have enough cars to last about 300 years. Might not be new, but they could still be driveable.

Hell, look at cuba. Isn't that what they do with their vehicles? Repair them until they can't be repaired anymore, and then repair them again. 

JUST IN: John Kennedy Mocks Biden Minutes After POTUS Address To Joint S...

You Owe Me 100 Natzy Scalps

Think of this as being dimocrat scalps.

There Was a Biden Speech Tonight?

 Well Sheeit. I just found out there was a shortbus joe address to congress tonight. I guess this was the state of the un-union?

Biden Slammed For ‘Divisive And Radical’ Speech That May Cause ‘Bloodbath For Democrats’ In 2022

Afternoon Memes


The FBI Just Raided Rudy Giuliani’s Apartment

  The New York Times is reporting that the FBI just raided Rudy Giuliani’s apartment.

So can non-vaccinated people

 CDC Says Fully Vaccinated People Can Exercise, Hold Small Gatherings Outdoors Without Masks

We're Saved! I tell ya WE ARE SAVED! The cdc says we can get together again! Hallelleujah!


 I don't know about the rest of the country, but here in california water is an all consuming item of interest.

With our constant drought and the large population we have, water has become our number one problem, at least in my opinion. 

The farmers in our state pay somebody for surface water allotments, but they haven't received those allotments in years. I think this year they only get about 5%?? or so of their allotments.

Then enter Nestle. They have a right to several million gallons of water that they bottle and resell to us. But now they have been sent a cease and desist letter because they are taking several hundred percent more water than allowed.

Drought-Ridden California Slaps Nestlé With A Cease And Desist Order To Stop Illegally Pumping Water

The Gus McCrae School of Bartending

Sam Meets Leon

 Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Minnesota as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's just finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there.

"Name's Leon... Your neighbor from four miles away... Having a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come."

"Great," says Sam. "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks.

Thank you." As Leon is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem... after 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, as he starts to leave Leon stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin'too."

Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Leon turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that's not a problem," says Sam, "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there...by the way, what should I wear?"

Leon stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."

Democrat Logic


A dimocrat buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number.

The dimocrat says, "I want my $20 million."

To which the man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The dimocrat said, "Oh, no. I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it."

Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The dimocrat, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY!! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!''

Still Think Chauvin Got a Fair Trial?

 Woman Admits She Had Fears of ‘Rioting and Destruction’ and ‘People Coming to My House’ Serving on Derek Chauvin Jury


 “They keep asking us to bring our own oxygen"

I have a probably stupid question for you

 How many feet are in a mile?

When i do a duckduckgo search it comes up 5,280 feet in one mile, and i go, HUH?

Because i remember a mile as being 5,276 feet. But in doing another duckduckgo search i find people who say they were taught that a mile is 5,286 feet.  I don't remember that number.

So, for my curiositys sake, how many feet do you say are in a mile?

Thank you.

that doesn't give them the right to harm protesters.

 Gov. Kevin Stitt signs bill to protect drivers who hit protesters while fleeing from riots

Oklahoma passed a law giving immunity to people fleeing from assholes protesting in the street, if the people fleeing hit or kill a protester.

And of course the assholes are already up in arms.  That denies my freedom of speech if i can't block the roads and have to fear for my safety!!!

Fuck these people. If they gonna play stupid games, they gonna win stupid prizes.

Buying a Car

 Apparently Some Car Dealers Think It's OK To Detain Customers Against Their Will

Approximately 40 years ago my wife and I and our young daughter were out one night looking at used cars.

We were at a local dealer and stupidly i had given them the keys to my car for evaluation for trade in.

Anyway, i wound up surrounded by 10 salesman(that's not an exaggeration) in the parking lot about 9:30 at night trying to get my keys back from this sonofabitch asshole car guy. He refused to give my keys back, and every time i would approach him these 10 guys kept getting closer and closer to me. It was quite the standoff.

Finally i told him to give my keys back or i would call the cops. And he said so you didn't intend on buying a car when you came in here? And i yelled at him, NO! give my keys back! 

Finally got them back and left. Man, i detest car dealers.

Water De-Salination

Water is the life blood of humans. Without it we can't live.

Fresh water is in very short supply, at least here in california.

A process called de-salination is starting to be used more to make fresh water from ocean water.

Primarily this involves taking ocean water and pumping it through membranes to remove the salinity and all of the minerals that may be in it. Lots of electricity is required to run the pumps that do this.

Here is a link to an article about this:

As Water Scarcity Increases, Desalination Plants Are on the Rise

The Trials and Tribulations of Buying a Car

 Around a month ago, my grandson was in what we thought was a minor fender bender. He was turning left. The lady on the other side of the street was turning right. 

My grandson turned left and stayed in his lane. The lady turning right did not stay in her lane, she turned into my grandsons lane. His right front fender connected with her left rear fender. Spun her right around. 

After, he drove to work but his right front tire was rubbing the bumper. He had it towed to a repair shop. Insurance found him not at fault.

The repair of his car was more than the value of the car, so they gave him a check for 4 grand, and kept the car.

He is borrowing my truck to get back and forth to work, griping all the while because he doesn't like borrowing a vehicle. And i tell him to return my truck and let insurance rent him one. He shuts up.

We have been searching for a 2000 to 2003 vehicle that doesn't have a metric crapton of miles on it. Jesus H Christ, you would think these vehicles are made out of gold. Trucks with 300,000 miles are going for up to 10 grand! Holy Crap! And some of these trucks were made in 1988.

Cue up yesterday. (Here in california we have a smog program. Cars that are bought and sold have to pass a smog test before the state of california will grant you leave to pay the exorbitant registration theft package so you can drive your vehicle on the roadways. No smog certificate, no registration.)

My grandson finds a 2000 dodge ram 1500, with only 150K miles. Goes to look  at it, it is dirty as hell, has a busted up left rear panel.

Runs and drives okay, so he tells the guy he will take it if it has passed smog. Guy says it has passed smog and he has found the paper certificate. 

This morning he comes gets me so i can drive my truck home after he buys the ram. Get to the guys house, start to do the title transfer, and i ask the guy if i can see the smog certificate. He says no, it hasn't been smogged yet. My grandson stops counting out the money and tells the guy, You told me it passed smog already. The guy comes out with a 12 inch piece of exhaust pipe and says i thought you would just put this on and go get it smogged yourself! Really? WTF?? You actually trying to pull this crap?

Cue up frustration on both our parts, we leave, and start searching used car lots on the way to my house. No joy there. Start searching craigslist and facebook marketplace. Find a few here and there. Then we found a 98 ford expedition with 200k miles for 3500. Pictures show an extremely clean vehicle. Grandson texts back and forth with the kid, who is helping his parents sell it, arrange a time to go see it. They are a 1 hour drive from us.

Drive down, look at it, very clean drives well, some details that need to be sorted out, but nothing major. Talking to the lady that owns it and ask about smog. Oh yes, it has been smogged, but will need to be smogged again when registration is due in nov. Ok, not fun, but it has been smogged, we will take the vehicle.

Her husband is there, very nice guy, we hit it off great. Grandson is counting out the money, husband says, So. You Guys Are Going to Smog It Yourself, Right?

What? You said it was smogged? Yes, back in Nov. Here in calif. the smog has to be within 90 days before registration or you can't register it. Well fuck me runnin! You said it was smogged! Stop the money count for the 2nd time today! Arrangements are made, they will smog it tomorrow, will try for the 3rd time to Git Er Done!

He Was Found Guilty, So Why Are You Still Butthurt?

 If these black sunzabitches want to start a war, do it.

“I Don’t Want to Say We Need to Start Killing All White Folks, But…”: BLM Extremists Detail Path Forward After Chavin Trial

An Old Joke But a Good One

 A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."

The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am, replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."

Calif. Water

 Rather than encourage lawmakers to bring him legislation to beef up the state’s water storage capacity during the last drought, Gov. Jerry Brown signed new laws to limit each citizen to just 55 gallons per person per day by 2030, and 50 gallons by 2050. What will Gov. Gavin Newsom do?