Saturday, December 19, 2020
Friday, December 18, 2020
Evening Joke----And I'm Not Talking About My Paycheck
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ...."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?" Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...."
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
Thursday, December 17, 2020
This Effer Got His Vaccine All Right----I got a bridge I would like to sell you.
Capitalism at Work
The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read "Best Deals".
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading "Lowest Prices".The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read... "Main Entrance".
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
Wednesday, December 16, 2020
Piss on the Inmates
Orange County, Calif., Sheriff Don Barnes pushed back against an "absurd" order from a local Superior Court judge ordering the release of 1,800 inmates, including some who are locked up for murder and child molestation, due to the coronavirus.
CA sheriff refuses to release 1,800 inmates after judge's order
Tuesday, December 15, 2020
The Time is Now
The time is now, or never. If there are patriots in this town they should round up these 2 inspectors and hang them both from lightpoles.
They Want TOTAL Control of You and Your Life
“We don’t know if vaccination prevents serious illness or does it also prevent you from getting infection entirely?”
The “out-of-control pandemic” Gupta is referring to has a 99.9998% survival rate for most people.
Wiith Apologies to Blondes Everywhere
Blonde and Psychiatrist
A blonde is speaking to a psychiatrist.
Blonde, "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are
complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist, "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
Blonde, "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next
best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist, "Uh ... How's that working?"
Blonde, "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
Psychiatrist, "And why do you think that is?"
Blonde, "I figured it's because when I'm driving around, my
zip code keeps
changing."
Monday, December 14, 2020
Todays Funny
A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone allout..... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the partystarted, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for thebums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they willhelp chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rearof the house.
The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having awonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half and hour, theclown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and wouldprobably not make the party at all.The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain thechildren herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of thebums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung fromtree branches, did mid-air flips, and leaped high in the air.
She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing isabsolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think yourfriend would consider repeating this performance for the children at theparty? I would pay him $50!"
The other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. 'HEY WILLIE! FOR $50,WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"
What If??
I am more than a little confused. I have read other blogs where they talk about electors.
Looks like at least 2 of the states have both left and right electors voting for president and sending them to the senate.
Okay which set of votes gets counted?
Apparently Vice President Pence is in charge of counting the votes? Apparently he can SELECT which set of votes to count? Is that true?
Can you imagine the GIGANTIC HUMONGOUS BUTTHURT the left will come up with if that were to happen?
Oh Lord there wouldn't be enough popcorn anywhere to watch that circus!!!
