You're so stupid if you fell in a barrel full of titties you'd come out sucking your thumb.
You're about as sharp as a mashed potato.
If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose.
You are one fry short of a happy meal.
Dang you got the iq of a fence post.
You couldn't find your way out of a wet paper bag with a flashlight and a map.
You're so slow it takes you two hours to watch 60 minutes.
Baby your elevator don't go all the way to the top.
The lights are on but nobody's home.
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