You Don't Know Shit About Dynamite!!

This is inspired by a post I saw at Phils.

 

Heh Heh

 Here are two from Xenophilic

Disneyland Lays off 28,000

28,000 Employees Laid Off At Disneyland, Walt Disney World 

Biden Joke

 I found this joke at Grouchy Old Cripple

Joke Of The Week

SEPTEMBER 29, 2020

A recycled joke updated to fit the times from my friend Phil.

Joe Biden walks into a bank to cash a check. As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning, Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me?

Cashier: “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?”

Biden: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Joe Biden, the former Vice President of the United States of America !!!!”

Cashier: “Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the banking legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID.

Biden: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody
knows who I am.”

Cashier: “I am sorry, Mr. Biden, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”

Biden: “My goodness. I am urging you, please, to cash this check.”

Cashier: “Look Mr. Biden , here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.

Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot; the tennis ball landed in my coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check.

So, Mr. Biden, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?”

Biden stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, “Honestly, my mind is a total blank, I have absolutely no idea what to do, I don’t have a clue.”

Cashier: “Will that be large or small bills, Mr. Biden?

The "I Believe Song"

This is Funny

 I read this over at Gorges Grouse and I thought I just had to repost this here.  I hope he doesn't mind.

Little Heroine

 -

 I got pulled over on I-44 for going 7 mph over the speed limit. 

As the officer started walking up to my car, i rolled my windows down ..... 

My adorable and apparently INCREDIBLY smart 4 yr old niece , started screaming from the backseat:

“It’s coming out!!!!!” 

“I can’t hold it any longer!!!!!”

“It’s almost here!!!!!!!!!!!”

Now the trooper is HEARING her scream this....

and he leans in the window and asks her “What’s going on here???”

She looks him  DEAD IN THE FACE 

And says “I’ve got poop coming outta my butt!!”

He started laughing 

I looked like I was about to cry 

He asked how far I had to go, which was about 2 miles home. He told me to drive safe and get miss thang home to do her business. He could NOT stop laughing

As soon as we pulled away I asked “What the hell was that about???”

This kid,smirked and said “I saw it on YouTube but I didn’t think it would work”

I said “So...... You're not pooping ?”

She said nope and you're not in trouble either.

OMG 

This kid is my hero

 

from Facebook