Another Dream to Make Me Wake Up to Go Pee

If a bean is a bean, what is a Pee? Answer: Relief. 

Before I awakened at the buttcrack of night to go pee, my mind was dreaming a weird dream in an effort to make me get up and go pee.

This particular dream started off with my wife or my mother locking the front door so we could all go to bed.

Then I hear a noise outside and go to investigate. Two guys are by my old green truck and I go to yell at them, but my voice catches and all I do is croak. Then I get my voice back and yell HEY!

The two guys drop down to hide. I notice a guy sitting in a lawnchair in the front yard of the house across the street, talking on a cell phone.

Then a 3 story apartment house magically appears across the street and the two guys by my truck and the guy on the phone all rush to the stairs and go up to the 3rd floor and enter one of the apartments while the guy on the phone is glaring daggers at me.

I go over to my old green truck. The front of the truck is just a blur, but I can see the two have broken out the side window of the camper top and unfastened the top from the truck bed and had it slid about halfway off.

Immediately next to my old green truck is my neighbors lawn, and two guys are mowing the lawn. And in the dream I'm thinking why are they mowing the lawn in the dark?

So I ask them if they saw anything and they say no. So I yell at one guy, and then in my dream he sits down at a folding table that appears, and I am asking him to write his name and phone number down so I can give it to the cops as a witness they can talk to.

But he isn't answering and then the back yard gate opens and a neighbor comes out I recognize as living there some years before. And she says the guys name and I tell him to write it down.

Now here comes the part where my mind wants me to wake up. Across the street in front of the apartment house is a gigantic old oldsmobile sedan. And about a dozen cartel members come out of this apartment, all of them carrrying AR's or AK's, and all of them get into this gigantic old sedan.

And then they all get out and start firing at all of us across the street.

And the people on my side of the street start firing back. Where the heck did they get the guns to do that all of a sudden? But there were only 4 of us before, now about 20 or 30 guns are firing back at the cartel members across the street.

Except me, I don't have a gun. Why the hell not, Dream? So I go running around the front of my truck to get to my house and get my AK to join in. 

But somehow a big concrete porch has materialized in front of my house, and there is a belt fed machine gun set in place and going BOOMBOOMBOOM as fast as it could at the cartel guys across the street.

I'm thinking holy crap and fall flat to the ground and using my elbows to drag me forward under the machine gun fire so I can get to my house to get MY gun. In the dream I'm hoping the cartel guys don't target the machine gun or I'm gonna wind up like smelly holely cheese.

Then I finally wake up to go pee.

Okay, it won't be a big movie in hollywood. But maybe stallone can make this a scene in his next expendables movie.