My Financial Worries are Over

 This afternoon my wife took a call on our house phone. I could tell she wasn't able to hear the person on the other end very well. She told them to hang on and handed the phone to me, which is like the deaf leading the deaf. 

The person on the phone said hello, talked english well with a slight asian accent.  Said they were from publishers clearing house, and that my wife had a prize of $3.8 million dollars and a 2020 mercedes. 

I said holy crap, how do i collect that i got lots of bills to pay. I don't want the mercedes but hell, maybe i can sell it to a rich democrat.

The guy kept asking me if this was the first time I had had this call about winning a prize and I kept saying yes.  He recited my address correctly which surprised me. Said can we make an appointment to deliver a cashiers check from publishers clearing house, and i said Hell Yes, get the damn thing over here, I got BILLS to pay. So then he said when is a good time for an appointment.

I told him to bring it over right now. And this is where it went off the rails.

He said, can you pay the registration fee? I said how much? He said $750. I said why do I have to pay a registration fee if I WON the damn money? 

Hello? Hello? Achmed, are you there? Achmed? Hello? Where'd you go with my money dammit?