Certified Water Technologist #63

Certified Water Technologist #63
Vern's Stories fredhorn37@gmail.com

One Liners from the Hollywood Squares Show

 Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it..

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..


  1. I used to love watching that show back in the day. Especially for Paul Lynde's answers. The one that I still remember is when he was asked what nickname Elizabeth Taylor hated to be called and his answer was "Thunder Thighs"........

  2. My brother and I too, used to watch the Hollywood Squares to see what Paul Lynde would answer. We were never disappointed.

  3. It seemed at times that that show was a free for all. Some of the best one liners ever.

  4. That was a great show. Nothing today can touch it.