Certified Water Technologist #63

Certified Water Technologist #63
Vern's Stories fredhorn37@gmail.com An expert is someone who knows each time more on each time less, until he finally knows absolutely everything about absolutely nothing.

Pre Christmas Funnies

 Some media outlets produce twice as much crap as normal. Especially when they're biassed.


Friend: "What are you going to give your mother-in-law for Christmas?"
Me: "Her son back!"


A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. "Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute."

Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.

"Also," says the director, "You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course."

This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.

"There's one last requirement," the director continues; "you must be bilingual."

With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!"



Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something related to or associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pockets and finds mistletoe, so he is allowed in.
The second man presents a candy cane, so he is also allowed in.The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"
"They're Carol's."














No comments:

Post a Comment