Some Jokes

 Two archeologists, exploring a remote mountain in Tibet came across a huge granite statue which resembled a sitting man. It stood almost 400 foot tall, and its bodily details were accurate down to the fingernails and teeth.

"It looks real enough to talk," says one.
"Lets try," says the other and turning to the statue he asks it its name.
No answer.
"How old are you?"
No answer.
Finally. one shouts out, "What is the square root of 64?"
Suddenly, the mountain shakes as the giant statue rises onto its feet and puts its hand on its chin. Then after about ten seconds, the statue answers in a roaring voice, "Eight."

"Of course!" says the scientist, "... It only stands to reason."

I think there's something wrong with my girlfriend.
She's hallucinating.
She keeps telling me she's seeing other people.

One day Joe Biden was out jogging -- and accidentally
fell from a bridge into a very cold river.

Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident.

Without a second thought, before the secret service quit laughing, they jumped in the water and

dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of

the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it,

I'll give it to you."

The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to

Disneyland!"

"I'll personally hand it to you," said Slow Joe.

"I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.

"I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said the

grateful defender of the Western Hemisphere.

"And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the

third boy.

"I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not

handicapped!"

"No -- but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved

from drowning."