I Was Trying to Write a Post About the Inevitability of Civil War

I was trying to write a post about the inevitability of civil war in the (former) united states.

But the more I wrote, the more disorganized my post became, and I started to sound like a raving lunatic. I agree I am a lunatic but I have never raved in my life. Well, maybe once or twice.

So anyway I said piss on it, and dug thru my emails and found this joke one of my readers sent to me. 

So without further ado?? here is a damn funny joke:

Swiss Hitch-hiker

A young man from Switzerland was hitch-hiking 

across America.

One evening, he found himself in a rural area. 

Knocking on the nearest door the farmer invited 

him to spend the night in the barn "But whatever 

you do DON'T DIDDLE MY DAUGHTER"

But of course he did.

As they were eating breakfast the farmer saw the 

guilty looks passing between his daughter and the 

Swiss gentleman.

"You diddled my daughter, didn't ya?" the farmer 

said.

"I am a Swiss gentleman and I cannot tell a lie. 

I did diddle your daughter." the hitch-hiker said.

" 'Preciate your honesty so I am going to give you a

 chance. Step out on the porch with me."

As they walked out the door the farmer reached 

behind the door and pulled out a firearm

"I reckon where you come from you don't know 

much about guns. This here is a 12 gauge shotgun

loaded with buckshot. If I point this at ya and ya 

are within 40 yards it will kill ya. Farther than that  

it will sting ya bad but prolly not kill ya.

"So I am gonna give ya a five second head-start, 

point this gun at ya and yank both triggers."

"GO!!!"

The young Swiss fellow didn't give it a second 

thought. He was off like a shot...

...ONE...

Until he hit the first puddle of barnyard slop and fell 

on his face.

...TWO...

Getting up was a struggle in the slippery mud but 

all those months of hitch-hiking had muscled up his 

legs and arms. He was up and running again

...THREE...

...when he hit the second puddle...

...FOUR...

The mud was like the La Brea tarpits and gripped 

his legs. He knew he was done for....

...FIVE...

He stood up, turned and faced the farmer and 

started yodeling his heart out. He had lived his 

life as a Swiss gentleman and was determined 

to die that way.

...BOOM..BOOM...

The next day in town...

"Hey Zeke, I heard ya done kilt some foreign 

fella at your farm yestiday"

"Yup, Clem, shore did. He done diddled my 

daughter."

"But Zeke, ever man in this county done diddled 

your daughter. Why did ya kill this-un?"

"I was gunna let him go just like the others, but 

then the furriner turned around as bold as brass 

and hollered "And I Diddled the Ol'Lady too"