Did You Ever Ride The Gravitron?

 Did you ever ride the Gravitron ride at the county fair?

Holy shit! Whoever thought up this ride deserves a special place in hell.

Back in the 1980's when I was working at the boiler company, my wife and I used to go to the small fair in a town just south of Fresno, named Caruthers.

Frequently we would go with Pat Jeffries and his wife Alena, who were good friends of ours. Pat and I worked together repairing the boilers the local maniacs decided to break.

This one year we went, and there was a ride there called the Gravitron. Pat wanted to go ride this thing, and I said okay. Our wives were smarter than us though, and stayed the hell off of it.

I had no idea at the time what this ride did, but I found out. As you can see from the pic above you simply stand there and lean against the wall.  Fun huh? Well, they closed the doors and turned out the lights and started some kind of freaky disco light show display that immediately started giving me a headache. Then the real fun began. They started playing, loudly very loudly, some kind of alien space garbage they called music. And I mean it was loud garbage.

Then the ride started. It started going around in circles,faster and faster and faster, pushing me back against the wall, and I found out why they called this the Gravitron. It made its own freaking gravity! Holy hell! I am suspended there, my feet not touching the floor, a mantra going thru my head: Don't throw up! Don't throw up!

Ole Pat is being pushed back further and further into the mat and he is turning a funny shade of green which looks even worse in the disco light show.

Then this one smartass sonofabitch kid decides to have some fun. He plants his feet on the mat and  is pointed straight out from the wall! And starts walking around the thing, stepping over some of his friends. And the damn alien space garbage music seems to have increased in volume.

Meanwhile I have increased the speed of my mantra to correspond with the increase of speed of the Gravitron! because I am afraid if I start to puke it will get pushed back down my throat with the force of a thousand rocketships! Holy shit this thing is moving.

After several eternities it starts winding down in speed and my feet hit the floor and then it stops and the disco show stops and I am saying a new mantra: Oh thank you Jesus! Oh thank you Jesus!

Pat and I wait until everyone else is off then we start to leave this alien spaceship. Or at least we tried. Poor ole Pat is holding on to the rail with both hands and staggering to the door and I try to laugh at him then realize I have both hands and one foot holding onto the rail to remain upright.

Finally get outside going down the ramp, and you should have heard the sympathy from our wives. Such evil laughing shouldn't come from 2 grown women.

Anyway, beware the gravitron.