Friday, June 25, 2021

Afternoon Jokes----Better Than Doing Yardwork


The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the Cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
"Howdy, stranger..."
"Howdy, Sheriff..."

The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine.He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon.

"Hold on, Mister..."
"Sheriff?"
"Did I just see what I think I just saw?"
"Reckon you did, Sheriff...I got me some powerful chapped lips..."
"And that cures them?"
"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' em."


Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.

The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."

The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.

The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.

Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."

Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."

Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand dollars in my hand."

But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."

So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.

Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . . we're going to be millionaires!"

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