A Groaner for another year

 A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. 

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."

The banknote salesman was sent to prison for going into business for himself part-time. While behind bars, the warden made arrangements for the salesman to learn a trade. In no time, the salesman became known as one of the best carpenters in the area. He often got day passes to do woodworking jobs for people in town.

When the warden started remodeling his kitchen, he called the salesman, now carpenter, into his office and asked him to build and install new cabinets and countertops.

The salesman refused.

"Gosh, I'd really like to help you," he said, "but counterfitting is what got me into prison in the first place."