Here is an old standby for you. An oldie but a goodie.

 A little old lady gets pulled over for speeding. The officer walks up to the car.  He takes the documentation she has ready for him. Drivers license, etc. 

He notices she has a concealed carry license. 

So he asks Maam, do you have a gun in the car. To which she replies, Why Yes. Yes I do.

The officer grins to himself a little. The old lady is only about five feet tall, weighs maybe 80 pounds, and is about 90 years old.

Maam, may I ask what type of gun you have?

She says Yes you may. I have a 9mm in my purse, a 45 in the center console, and a magnum in the glove compartment.

The officer is taken back a little. He says, Is that all of it, only halfway kidding about it.

She says, Well, I also have a pistol grip 12 gauge in the trunk.

The officers eyebrows have risen above his hairline by this point. He says, Maam, what are you afraid of?

To which the old lady smiles and replies in her 90 year old voice, Not a goddamn thing.